it seems like yesreday you were wearing olivia's dolls clothes, playing ninja turtles or power rangers, pushing olivia off the deck, watching bareny and so forth. (yeah, never introduce me to a girlfriend.)
at anyrate enjoy college. remember that mashed potatos are cheap and filling. cheap beer will get you just as drunk. soroity girls should be avoided, frats are full of homophobes and the library is where all the real action takes place.
also remember that there is a strong chance that what you set out to do will not be what you end up doing. g.w. just wanted to drive fast, take drugs and get rich - somehow he ended up president. moral? aim low and end up on top...just kidding. the moral is that, honestly, life is just starting. you are about to start living for real. keep an open mind and be willing to adapt, constantly learn and grow.
okay, that's all for now. oh, wait, if you need bail money, call aunt dawn - she'll keep the secret. oh, and do not do drugs or join a cult.