"you are a jerk off. a wasted jerk off. like the ones right before you end up meeting someone and want to have sex but you cannot because you just jerked off. yes, that is you."
i mean, how great is that? seriously. sometimes a simple "fuck you" just doesn't resonate the way that you want it to clang around in their head. sometimes you just have to pull out a nice metaphor/simile...whatever.