Friday, December 28

the end of a year

so i guess i need to write the big new year's eve entry reflecting on the past year. oh, what a year it was!

notable items:
1. lead role in a play
2. new job, well an old job that was supposed to lead into a great new job but the plan backfired and i am a secretary with limited responsibility and authority basically surfing through my work days waiting for something slightly challenging and interesting to come my way
3. spit beer into a date's face by accident
4. decided to adopt a child against the cronic advice of all those around me (for the most part although i did have a few supporters)
5. flew in an airplane a few times...oh that was last year. this year i finally took an overnight train trip which was fun although slightly smelly
6. figured out that my cat is from hell and probably the loins of satan himself (ever wonder why feminists don't insist that satan is a woman, just god?)

what to do in the year to come?
many people will spend new year's eve making promises to themselves regarding weightloss, quitting some vice like smoking, gambling or prostitution, or moving on to a bigger and better life. i will probably do the same in some drunken moment outside of nectar's smoking a cigarette and cursing my crappy career. then i, like every other idiot, will promptly forget my promise and push it off for another year (or infinity). but this year to come does offer promise and change.

the adoption will hopefully happen in the upcoming year. that would definately be nice. but as time passes i wonder more and more if i am doing the right thing. should i really venture down this path especially after a series of hard knocks financially and personally. is this really the right time or am i just being selfish?

my job needs to change in this upcoming year. i really cannot muster the strength to continue sitting on my ass in my office waiting for some work to pass my way. and at this point in time i realize that i am doing the whole job. there isn't something i am missing or neglecting. it really is just the world's easiest job for a stupid amount of money.

ah money. this year i really do need to get a grib on finances. who else in the world makes close to my annual income and lives paycheck to paycheck? i mean really!?! it is stupid that i am constantly broke even though i have discovered where i am pissing away cash (doggie daycare, car payment and too many books/yarn purchases). so this year i will hopefully get a financial grip. should be exciting. although i am sure i will be lulled into a false sense of security by the gift and keep up my spendthift ways. or perhaps i will lull someone into a relationship and take their income too.

relationship. yeah, who the fuck knows? every possible lead into a potential relationship ends before it starts. i think it is probably because i am an asshole, but who knows? maybe there is someone out there who can tolerate and love a person who is controlling, oddly cruel, moody and boring. but i am not that bad...well, not all the time. i guess it is just the occasional mood and the occasional mean joke that gets folks. they just cannot handle it. which is understandable. oh well, i'll hold out hope.

what else this year? i think this year i will get back to basics. i think i'd like to go camping some. perhaps find a new hobby with the woods.

so, yeah, happy 2008. i know it is a bit early but i also know that i am probably not going to write again until the new year.

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